Today's topic: Why is Sting SUCH an ass???
I was watching the Academy Awards on Sunday, and I couldn't get over how douchy Sting is. Seriously, what kind of Adult-Comtemporary-I'm-The-Coolest instrument WAS he playing? I'm sure it's some kind of ancient instrument that the buddists used to play before they had some type of amazing ceremony. But you know what? I DON'T CARE!!!! To me, it looked like he was playing a Jack in the Box. Call me unsophisticated. Call me uneducated. That doesn't change the fact that Sting hasn't made a good album in almost 2 decades.
Sting is so busy being pretentious, that he forgot how to make music. Case in point: I was leaving the movie theater a few weeks ago, and that new single from Sting was playing. He's looking for love? Send my love? A sphincter says what?
When was the last time Sting made a song that made me tap my toes? I could argue (pretty successfully) the last good record Sting put out was Dream of the Blue Turtles. In fact, even though I personally didn't like it, I'll give you The Soul Cages. Still, that was 13 years ago, people!
Don't get me wrong. I think The Police were one of the greatest bands. I love Reggatta de Blanc. I love Syncronicity. I love Ghost in the Machine. But you know what, I could tell Sting was going to be a pretentious bastard on the track "Hungry for You." "Look at me," he says, "I can sing a song in French." NOBODY CARES!!!!!!
Why don't you just die, Sting? Go ahead and keep making that crap music that appeals to soccer moms driving their minivans with their 3.2 kids in the back who say to themselves "wow, I used to love Sting when I was a kid, and now he's really grown with me. That Sting is so versatile." SUCK IT!!!!!!!!!
Posted by roblin at March 2, 2004 11:07 AMI was going to say Soul Cages was good. There were a couple of decent songs on Ten Summoners Tales, but overall a lousy album. He's phoning it in. He knows he'll get airplay.
Even Bowie is starting to lose it. I haven't heard the new one yet. I didn't like the previous two. He needs to get back with Eno and give us the two sequels to Outside.
Posted by: Scott Janssens at May 19, 2004 09:17 PM