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Voice Mail Fears

Hi All,

It's been a while since I've written. I haven't been busy, more lazy I guess.

So, I was sick last week and I stayed home to watch a Law and Order marathon. Don't they have one of those every other day or so?

You ever notice when somebody gets murdered, the first thing the detectives do is go to the victim's house. Then, as they're searching through all of the various articles of clothing and stuff, they see the answering machine. "Beep. You have 1 new message," the machine says. Then a strange voice is heard, "Hi. It's Joe. I wanted to let you know that I am going to murder you because I need the insurance money. Bye. BEEP."

Ok, so now the Law and Order guys know that they're looking for a guy named Joe, and he has killed this person for the insurance money. That's a wrap!

I then start thinking about how the Law and Order guys would approach my murder.

First off, I always have to keep my apartment clean. I mean, I can have a small mess, but there's no way that the Law and Order guys are going to come into to my apartment and make wise about how untidy I am when I have just been murdered! If I get murdered, I want to have everything in order so that they can find my killer as quickly as possible. The last thing I need is for them to look at a bunch of dirty dishes and say "Gee, this guy sure could have used a maid."

Another thing is that I don't have an answering machine. I have voice mail. You ever see the Law and Order guys deal with voice mail? No. Because they don't have the password. So, they're going to have to get a court order and have Verizon "produce" the voice mail just so they can hear what they could have heard by pressing a single button on an answering machine!

So, what's the answer here? Do I need to ditch the high-techedness of voice mail and get an answering machine so that in case I get murdered, the Law and Order guys can check messages lightning-fast? But then where does it stop? Maybe I should hang my cable bill on the wall so they see what Pay-Per-View movies I am watching. You know, just in case it gives them a clue?

Posted by roblin at April 20, 2004 02:21 PM